Brave
I have met one of the bravest people I will ever know. She is a young girl who is very close to my family. Not too long ago, she came forward and told her family that she was being sexually abused by someone that was also very close to us.
Since that day, my entire family has been on a roller coaster. This person was loved and trusted, making the deeds that were done a double smack.
I am well aware many will not agree with me posting this on my blog. My blog is a fun and happy place that talks about family, love, caring, pictures. The thing is…the further down this hole we go, I am coming to understand something. Sexual abuse is NEVER talked about. Muggings, murder, arson, even rape…you see them all over the place. But being victimized by someone you trust? Sometimes it doesn’t get talked about for years. Sometimes never.
This girl’s parents thought they did their job by talking to her about what is appropriate and what is not when it comes to their bodies. Privacy. Strangers and what happens if someone tries to grab you. A secret word was picked out in case something had happened to Mom and Dad and someone they didn’t know had to get them. Every single base was covered, except HOME base.
I do not want to preach to anyone. I would just like to share what I have learned. ANYONE can hurt your child. ANYONE. So when you have that all-important talk about who is aloud to do what and so on, include EVERYONE in the do-not-touch list. I’ve done lots of learning since this came to light, and I’ve found out that 80 percent of all sexual abuse is done by someone that child knows. More than 50 percent suffer through this in their own home.
Here is the most important part, here is the part that means the most…if, by some chance, this ever happens to a child you know and they have the courage to come to you, BELIEVE THEM! I am shocked and saddened that, around every corner, I hear more stories about parents or family who do not believe their child or blame them for causing problems. In some cases, this denial makes it possible for the abuse to continue.
The courage to tell the truth is the biggest super power I have ever seen. Abuse, especially abuse like this, isn’t easy to talk about. It’s even harder when the child is talking about someone who is close and trusted. Kids know that. Give them the benefit of the doubt. I’ve learned the hard way that not all abuse can be prevented, but it can be stopped. It can be stopped by a courageous kid and the parents who believe what she says and fight back.
This sweet girl has a heart so big it bursts out around her and leaves trails of rainbows and shooting stars everywhere she goes. She forgives with grace and prays for everyone, even the ones that hurt her. She is also a super hero – a courageous fighter. She is my hero, and I am so proud to know her.
I love you, Super Hero Kid. And I will always be here for you as you keep fighting. Lots of other people will be there, too…but I’ll be in front. And I will fight with you.
A special place that I bet you didn’t even know we are lucky to have-
The National Children’s Advocacy Center
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5 comments
Kudos to you for posting this. Yes, typically your blog is a happy place to come and visit. But, if you can help one person by posting this and telling this story, then it is all worth it. If people don’t like it, well good. It’s not something we should like and the only way we can change this world is to open and up be real. Thanks for posting.
Thank you for an amazing post and for talking about a very touchy subject. This happened to me when I was @ 6. After some time,(I think about a month) I told my mom. She made a really lame excuse for my Dad.(trying to minimize it for a 6 yr old, I guess) (ps. He was a sheriff) We didn’t talk about it again until I was in college, when she told me she was always watching to make sure it didn’t happen again (it’s impossible to Always be watching) Anyway, she hadn’t told me that at the time, so I never knew if or when it would happen again, not a good way to grow up. Thankfully/miraculously it didn’t happen again, but that night I lost my Dad, the one person in the world who is supposed to protect you. As an adult, I’ve come to believe she probably didn’t believe me. It’s what I tell myself, because if it were my child,… I can’t even imagine how far I would go to protect them. So thank you so much for telling parents to BELIEVE THEM! Please tell your sweet, little friend she is so smart and brave and praise her parents for doing the right thing!
Blessings, L
most importantly, how brave this sweet girl for coming forward…!
if only more children had the courage instead of enduring years of pain in silence….and for parents to trust their child’s word, in so many cases, and especially in these circumstances.
ok, i have tears in my eyes as i write this… because i really feel like i can’t say the right words on this….but what a release from a sick mind…
it has been said that children are a fine reflection of their parents and i’m sure her parents are amazing souls in believing in her.
BIG BIG BIG hugs & MUCH love for this amazingly brave girl!!!
<3
Good for you for posting something so important! Good for that sweet young girl for being BRAVE and coming forward. Too many of us were too ashamed and afraid, and it didn’t come out until many many years later. Prayingn for her and your family and encouraging her to be able to get the help she needs to heal.
Good for that brave girl. Give her lots of love and hugs for doing the right thing, even if it was really hard to do. I’m saying lots of prayers for your family and especially Super Hero Kid.